It’s funny how we say sometimes that allowing the heat burn slightly the finger tips of a child will finally stop him or her from continuously trying to stick his or her fingers in the flame or wander about the kitchen… This theory, although I have sometimes championed it myself is completely warped. They say experience is the best teacher, I say that’s a load of crap. Answer these questions-
- How many girls do you know have had pregnancy scares that had them swearing off sex if it just turned out to be false. How many actually stopped when it turn out to be a false alarm?
- How many times have you had unprotected sex?
- How many times have you fallen for the same kind of person that used/abused you emotionally or otherwise? Or accepted a liar back, knowing just what (s)he is?
- How many times have you lost a relationship over an issue you have, only to repeat it in another relationship?
I put it to you that you have personally been in one or more of the scenarios above, or know someone who has.
Human beings must then have an inability to learn. Maybe that’s the problem. We keep piling up more knowledge upon misinformation and false understandings. Maybe what we need to focus on doing is “unlearning”.
Unlearning is just as important as learning. We must unlearn our prejudices, our reluctance to change, our habits, our opinions. We must unlearn our methods, to open up ourselves to leaning new ways of doing things.
Unlearning- A discard from one’s memory, something learned, especially a bad habit or false or outdated information.
What if we could unlearn an experience? Or what if we could learn to use a bad experience to improve self, not point fingers? Even if the other person was wrong!
I’m a Christian and there a scripture that says “We do well to take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day-star arise in your hearts”.
The basic principle is that we are all works in progress. We are all getting better (at least, we’d like to think so). Improvement basically speaks to one meeting an obstacle and making changes to ones self to overcome said obstacle and become better for it.
Challenges are basically self-improvement courses. So how come we stay the same? The Word of God basically points out where we’ve missed it (light) and we are forced to decide. We decide to own up to it or we stay the same and blame other people. We stay in the same learning step getting bitter and say that life has dealt us harsh cards.
I hear funny statements like “That’s how I am”, “manage me like that”, “That’s how my family has done things for years”. So? But I don’t like mediocre relationships (romantic or platonic), I truly do not manage uncomfortable, mediocre standards out of life when there’s potential and why should I? Why should anyone?
Our experiences have never made us or anyone better, unlearning the ideas or opinions that made us have those experiences might be a better approach. Mindset shifts. Let’s progress, let’s unlearn.